There are many things that signify getting older but, I think we can all agree that one of the biggest markers of aging is white hair.
So, you can understand how I thought my world was crashing down around me when I looked in the mirror this afternoon and discovered white hairs. Yes, plural. Hairs. More than one. Now, I don't know what the collective term for white hairs is but, I assume it's something like a "crippling fear of your impending death".
My life began to flash before my eyes. A few weeks ago I was in the running to work at Australia's foremost youth radio station and now, I was a dinosaur on the verge of extinction.
I optimistically hoped it was dog hair from the pet I do not own or, loose thread from a jumper I was not wearing. However, when I reached up to touch them they were attached to my head because, apparently unlike my previous gardening experience I had successfully grown them.
These follicle foes were citizens of my scalp and I knew that if I wanted to deport them I would have to go all Trump on the situation and use force to extradite them. It was either that or, resign myself to the life of an old woman who lived in a shoe or threw Heart of the Ocean necklaces into large bodies of water.
It’s kind of ironic, isn’t it? How the one thing that proves my adultness is the one thing in that moment I wanted nothing to do with.
I looked again at my reflection and these are the immediate thoughts that went racing through my aging head:
I don’t have funeral insurance. Do I now need to get funeral insurance?
Am I old?
Should I dye my hair?
Is 30 too young for white hairs?
Do I pull them out or leave them? I’m definitely pulling them out.
What causes hair to go white?
Wait. Maybe it’s stress related not age related! Wait. Would I prefer to be stressed?
So, I did some googling and luckily it’s pretty normal to find a white hair before you’re 80. White hairs are caused when the body stops producing melanin so, without the pigment in your hair follicle the hair is white. Also, luckily for my ego and general life longevity there is no evidence that white hair affects life expectancy.
Vanity wise it sucks BUT, it's not the end of the world... and, I mean bright side silver lining is that now I'm one step closer to being the fierce AF white haired Storm from X Men.